5 things American movies teach us:
1. Chinese have nothing better to do than teaching or practice Kung Fu.
2. More than 50% of U.S. population are FBI/CIA agents, working undercover.
3. The purpose of school system Of U.S. is to promote Basketball and Baseball.
4. Aliens have special interest in attacking U.S.
5. U.S. is a place where you can meet all mythical creatures like werewolves & vampires.
5 things Indian Movies Teach Us:
1. At Least one of the identical twins is born evil.
2. While defusing a bomb, Don't worry, whichever wire you cut… you “always choose the right one".
3. A hero will show no pain while getting beaten up; But will show pain when a girl cleans up his wound.
4. A detective can solve a case only when he is suspended from duty
5. If you decide to start dancing on the street, everyone you know will AUTOMATICALLY know all the steps
Friday, 9 November 2012
joke... greater problem
Wife: You always carry my photo in your hand bag to the office. Why?
Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how powerful I am ?
Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can
there be greater than this one?"
Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how powerful I am ?
Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can
there be greater than this one?"
joke... my name is zzzzzzzzfunke
On Sunday a gang went into a church and started closing windows and doors.
They told the congregation that they were going to kill everyone but in alphabetical order. They went to the Rev.
What is your name?
Rev: Zoseph Zmith
Lucky you,
Pianist: my name is Zemanuel Zwilliams but one of the ushers over there is Abigail Ann.
You lying bastard,the usher replies. My name is Zzzabigail Zzzann. Wat name wud u ve mentiond if u were to be around??
They told the congregation that they were going to kill everyone but in alphabetical order. They went to the Rev.
What is your name?
Rev: Zoseph Zmith
Lucky you,
Pianist: my name is Zemanuel Zwilliams but one of the ushers over there is Abigail Ann.
You lying bastard,the usher replies. My name is Zzzabigail Zzzann. Wat name wud u ve mentiond if u were to be around??
joke... dinner was cancelled
At Dinner Little Jhonny was ordered to lead in Prayer.
Little Jhonny : “But I dont know how to pray ?”
Dad : “Just pray for your family members, friends and neighbours, The Poor, Etc”
Little Jhonny started the prayer :
Dear Lord, thank you for our visitors and their children, Who finished all my cookies and ice cream. Bless them so they wont come again.
Forgive our neighbor’s Son, who removed my Sister’s clothes and wrestled with her on her bed.
This coming christmas, Please send clothes to all those poor naked ladies on my Daddy’s Iphone and provide shelter for the homeless men who use Mom’s room when daddy is at work.
Amen
Dinner was cancelled.
Little Jhonny : “But I dont know how to pray ?”
Dad : “Just pray for your family members, friends and neighbours, The Poor, Etc”
Little Jhonny started the prayer :
Dear Lord, thank you for our visitors and their children, Who finished all my cookies and ice cream. Bless them so they wont come again.
Forgive our neighbor’s Son, who removed my Sister’s clothes and wrestled with her on her bed.
This coming christmas, Please send clothes to all those poor naked ladies on my Daddy’s Iphone and provide shelter for the homeless men who use Mom’s room when daddy is at work.
Amen
Dinner was cancelled.
joke...just to be sure
A husband sent a text to his wife last night,
"Hi babe I'm at the pub with some lads, please try and wash all my dirty clothes and make sure you prepare my favourite dish before I return."
(50 minutes later)
The man sent another text, "Babe I forgot to tell you that I got an increase in my salary at the end of the month I'm getting you a new car"
She text back immediately,
"Hi babe I'm at the pub with some lads, please try and wash all my dirty clothes and make sure you prepare my favourite dish before I return."
(50 minutes later)
The man sent another text, "Babe I forgot to tell you that I got an increase in my salary at the end of the month I'm getting you a new car"
She text back immediately,
"Omg really?"
I replied,"No I just wanted to make sure you got my first message."
I replied,"No I just wanted to make sure you got my first message."
joke; I passed
Gal: Dad can i ask u something????
Dad: Yes go ahead huny
Gal: Which one's good, to pass or to fail???
Dad: To pass dia
Gal: Then u'd be proud of me ryt???
Dad: Yes go ahead huny
Gal: Which one's good, to pass or to fail???
Dad: To pass dia
Gal: Then u'd be proud of me ryt???
Dad: Why???
Gal: Because i passed my pregnancy test dad!!!!
Gal: Because i passed my pregnancy test dad!!!!
YOU HAVE TO READ THIS - MEN AND WOMEN THINK DIFFERENTLY!
YOU HAVE TO READ THIS - MEN AND WOMEN THINK DIFFERENTLY!
Two women are chatting in an office.
Woman 1: "I had sex last night, did you?"
Woman 2: "Yes."
Woman 1: "Was it good?"
Woman 2: "No, it was a disaster... my husband came home, ate his dinner in three minutes, got on top of me, finished having sex in five minutes, rolled over and fell asleep in two minutes. How was yours?"
Woman 1: "Oh it was amazing! My husband came home and took me out to a romantic dinner. After dinner we walked for an hour. When we came home he lit the candles around the house and we had an hour of foreplay. We then had an hour long session of fantastic sex and afterwards talked for an hour. It was like a fairytale!"
At the same time, their husbands are talking at work.
Husband 1: "You wanted sex last night, how was it?"
Husband 2: "Great. I came home, dinner was on the table, I ate, had sex with my wife and fell asleep. It was great! What about you?"
Husband 1: "It was horrible. I came home, there's no dinner because they cut the electricity because I hadn't paid the bill; so I had to take my wife out to dinner which was so expensive that I didn't have money left for a cab. We had to walk home which took an hour - and when we got home I remembered there was no electricity so I had to light candles all over the house! I was so angry that I couldn't get it up for an hour and then I couldn't climax for another hour. After I finally did, I was so aggravated that I couldn't fall asleep and my wife was jabbering away for another hour!"
Two women are chatting in an office.
Woman 1: "I had sex last night, did you?"
Woman 2: "Yes."
Woman 1: "Was it good?"
Woman 2: "No, it was a disaster... my husband came home, ate his dinner in three minutes, got on top of me, finished having sex in five minutes, rolled over and fell asleep in two minutes. How was yours?"
Woman 1: "Oh it was amazing! My husband came home and took me out to a romantic dinner. After dinner we walked for an hour. When we came home he lit the candles around the house and we had an hour of foreplay. We then had an hour long session of fantastic sex and afterwards talked for an hour. It was like a fairytale!"
At the same time, their husbands are talking at work.
Husband 1: "You wanted sex last night, how was it?"
Husband 2: "Great. I came home, dinner was on the table, I ate, had sex with my wife and fell asleep. It was great! What about you?"
Husband 1: "It was horrible. I came home, there's no dinner because they cut the electricity because I hadn't paid the bill; so I had to take my wife out to dinner which was so expensive that I didn't have money left for a cab. We had to walk home which took an hour - and when we got home I remembered there was no electricity so I had to light candles all over the house! I was so angry that I couldn't get it up for an hour and then I couldn't climax for another hour. After I finally did, I was so aggravated that I couldn't fall asleep and my wife was jabbering away for another hour!"
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